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OCTOBER 2008 -------
Welcome to the Birth Order newsletter for October 2008! Birth Order and Attention Deficit Disorder
Attention Deficit Disorder is a very common thinking disorder. Almost everyone
experiences ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) to some degree. If you want to
know if you have it these are the signs of ADD: How do you get ADD? Some think it to be genetic but I have found that ADD goes back to an experience(s) at around age two when you thought with your whole body. Your thinking and doing was the same thing for you. It was similar to what you experience in a crisis when you act and think in unison. In a crisis you do not have time to separate the two. In normal situations you can separate your thinking from your actions. As a two-year-old you explore your world sometimes getting into trouble in the process. You pull down the drapes, draw a crayon mural on the dining room wall or pull the table cloth off the table, dishes and all. The most patient of parents is apt to get pushed too far so that you get punished, reprimanded, isolated or otherwise made to know your parent’s displeasure. You get scared. You don’t want that to happen again so you have to figure out what you did wrong. You think about what you did. Since you cannot separate thinking from acting, you decide you got into trouble for thinking. In your own way you decided that sometimes it is dangerous to think. This decision became a memory that hinders your thinking. When that memory is activated your subconscious halts your thinking to protect you from getting punished for thinking. Your ADD kicks in when you feel you have to think. When you feel you have to think the memories are triggered causing your subconscious to react by saying “Oh, oh, it’s dangerous to think” and turn off your thinking. This shutdown occurs during a conversation where your thinking is challenged so that you cannot respond. The shutdown also occurs when you read something that requires you to think, making you read it several times before you get it. On the other hand, during the night when you are safe in your bed in the darkness and silence of night, your subconscious lets you know that it is safe to think. At night, when you should be sleeping you are thinking. During the day when you should be thinking your mind goes blank. That’s ADD. Since each Birth Order has it’s own thinking style the ADD effect is unique to each: Only Child the organizing thinker: Organizing becomes a distraction to thinking. For example, the supervisor behind the desk might be putting things in order on his desk rather than thinking about what an employee is explaining to him. At night the Only thinks about tomorrow’s schedule, issues that have to be dealt with or things that have to be done. First Born the researcher: Research becomes the distraction for thinking. With ADD the First Born thinks about things he wants to find out rather than thinking about what he is being told or what he is reading at the moment. During the night he may lie awake figuring things out. Second Born the evaluator: ADD would drive the Second Born into thinking about irrelevant details rather than the issue at hand. During the night ADD drives the person into evaluating projects, people and situations rather than sleeping. Third Born the associative thinker: With ADD this person thinks about different situations rather than thinking about what she is hearing or reading. During the night this person lies awake making comparisons. Fourth Born the analyzer: ADD makes the Fourth Born ask “what if” questions to stop thinking about what is being said or what he or she is reading. During the night this person lies awake analyzing events, conversations and situations compulsively. The words “Forget making yourself think, just let yourself think” can be used as therapy for ADD. You can say this to yourself or to a child who struggles with ADD. You might want to post this statement on your refrigerator as a reminder to reinforce the therapy. On the subconscious level the statement sets you free to think during the day and allows you to stop thinking during the night so you can sleep. Let good thinking begin!
Cliff Isaacson, BA, BD BLOG Remember to check out the blog at http://birthorder.blogster.com for lots of information on Birth Order. COUNSELING
Birth Order based counseling/consulting is available by telephone. Call
1-800-214-0795 to make an appointment. For more information write
clifford@birthorderplus.com.
There are advantages to counseling by phone. You are in your own home, you can
concentrate without visual distractions and you feel more comfortable than in a
counseling office. Telephone counseling has proven effective in dealing with
anger issues.
You are free to forward this newsletter to interested people.
Web site: www.birthorderplus.com
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Check out the archive of past newsletters.
The following books by Cliff are available by email at clifford@birthorderplus.com or by calling 1-800-214-0795: You can pay by credit card. Add $3.00 for shipping and handling.
The Birth Order Challenge Hardback $19.95
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