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MARCH 2005 -------
Birth Order is personality developed during early childhood by coping with family. Dear Birth Order Plus subscriber, Today I want to share with you on how to make practical use of Birth Order in your daily life. Recognizing Birth Orders makes life more interesting, relationships more fulfilling and you more comfortable. Welcome! Using Birth Order in daily life. Knowing someone's Birth Order enriches your experience. To discover Birth Order personality you could ask the person questions about family, themselves or relationships. Or, you could make observations that reveal personality directly. Within minutes without delving into background you could know whom you are encountering. You may have already tried to figure out Birth Order by watching someone or listening to someone. This can be overwhelming since there is so much happening. On the other hand, if you concentrate on the right things you can identify Birth Order readily. These things are facial expressions, body language, speech patterns and your own feelings. The Only Child usually has a very expressive face with an open look. They talk with their hands, their eyes and their whole bodies. There is lots of movement in their way of communicating. In talking they tend to interrupt you, make it difficult for you to break in on the conversation, and talk with animation. When you check feelings you find that you do not feel pressured because you sense that what you see is what you get. You feel like you can contribute to the conversation but you can just listen if you want. The quizzical questioning look belongs to the First Born. The eyebrows are raised as in expecting something, the head is lowered while the person looks at you for a response. Frequently the First Born nods in agreement, looks at you while you talk but looks away when talking to you. The speech pattern is hesitant with broken sentences, restarts, and punctuated with "ahs". You feel pressured to contribute to the conversation. After awhile you may become bored with the conversation as the person tries to impress you. The piercing look belongs to the Second Born. This person focuses on you, an object or something else. The look may appear challenging. The person tends to be thin lipped. The head is held level rather then tilted to one side or the other. Often while talking there is a slight shaking of the head as if saying "no." Gestures are used only when necessary. Speech tends to be crisp, contains details and tends to be more rational than emotional. With the Second Born you may feel that you need to be careful what you say. The Third Born is more laid back, apparently relaxed, and on the verge of humor. This person may be boisterous, compassionate, bold or quietly accepting. This person shows empathy by pursing the lips, tilting the head to one side, leaning forward to hear what you have to say and offering ideas. Their talking often includes comparisons, new ideas, suggestions and encouragement. You may feel the need to hide weaknesses even though the person shows compassion. You feel like you're being pushed, like you need to be strong. The Fourth Born has the greatest range of expression, from the sullen, scowling look to the passive reasonable look to the intense in-your-face look. The lips rather than the whole face carry the emotional expression. Eyes might express little but the lips are expressive. The head is held steady. The person looks at you without the piercing look of the Second Born. Sometimes, the Fourth Born will look to one side or the other without turning the head as if trying to see if someone is sneaking up. Speech is confusing as the Fourth Born changes subjects in the same sentence. Listening to the Fourth Born may make you feel confused. You may find yourself feeling like you should be doing something for this person. These descriptions are not absolute. Facial expressions, body language and speech patterns can vary with mood. A depressed person will come across differently than one who is enthusiastic. Also, secondary characteristics can influence the person's expression. These descriptions enable you to read some people but not all. People are the easiest to read when they are under stress, harder to read when they are comfortable. Also, people tend to be easier to read when at home where they can be themselves. You can equip yourself to read people more effectively by having in mind a representative of each Birth Order. These can be family members, friends, associates or others whom you know. They become models of Birth Order in your mind, models to which you can compare persons you meet. If remember how each Birth Order model make you feel you improve your intuitive grasp of Birth Order. Of course, you know that the more you know about Birth Order the more useful it is. It helps to know the thinking pattern, emotional behavior and relating styles of each to make good use of Birth Order when you encounter someone new. Yet, there will still be lots you don't know about each person. After all, we are very complex beings! The flip side is that others who know Birth Order can read your personality, too. The good thing is, you're getting a head start! Weight Loss Want to lose weight? Never get so interested in eating that you forget your stomach. Counseling Birth Order based counseling/consulting is available by telephone. If you are interested send an email to clifford@birthorderplus.com or call 1-800-214-0795.
Cliff Isaacson, BA, BD
Web site: www.birthorderplus.com Check out the archive of past newsletters. The following books by Cliff are available by email or 1-800-214-0795:
The Birth Order Challenge Hardback $19.95 Credit Card payments are accepted.
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