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JUNE 2006 -------
Birth Order is to personality what skeleton is to a body. Dear Birth Order subscriber, Welcome to the June Birth Order newsletter! Since June is traditionally the wedding month let’s talk about how two people are attracted to each other by Birth Order. We’ll look at how Birth Order subconsciously affects one’s choice of partner. Before we do, a word of caution is in order. Birth Order alone is not a good predictor of marital bliss. Life experiences, the formation of attitudes toward marriage and personal issues all affect the relationship. Birth Order is only part of the picture. In fact, you can be happily married to the “wrong” Birth Order if other factors contribute positively to the marriage. Having said this, let’s look at some implications of Birth Order. Two First Borns never marry. When you see a couple where both are the oldest in the family, one or both of them will have personalities other than First Born. Onlies and Seconds are attracted to each other. Onlies want to do things right and Seconds want to do some things perfectly. Doing things right and doing things perfectly make for a good match. This is the only couple who typically fall in love at first sight. Firsts and cautious type Third Borns are drawn to each other. The Third Born likes the feeling of safety in the First Born that comes from the First Born being unaware of his or her thoughts, feelings or even desires. The First Born is drawn to the Third Born by the Third’s compassion that is refreshing to the First Born perceiving the world as a place without love. Fourths and Onlies can be drawn to each other. The Fourth finds the Only intriguing because the Fourth does not understand the Only. An Only may find the Fourth to be attractive because of the act the Fourth puts on. The Only often experiences surprise, sometimes dismay, as the real Fourth Born personality comes out after marriage. Birth Order of parents can affect choice of mate. An Only will tend to be drawn to someone of the same Birth Order as the same-sex parent. The other Birth Orders tend to be drawn to the Birth Order following that of the same-sex parent. The Birth Order following Fourth Born is Only Child. Couples who are mismatched by Birth Order can still have a happy marriage. Their marriage may require more maintenance than more compatible matches. This means acquiring an understanding of each other, providing quality time with each other away from home and an exercising patience with each other. Humor is a most important element in any marriage. There can be no bonding without humor. Humor is the playfulness that allows a couple to enjoy each other. When the sense of humor disappears in a relationship that relationship is in trouble. That’s the time to get therapy to restore the joy of being married to each other. A couple is almost always of comparable intelligence. Humor ensures this compatibility because it requires comparable intelligence to enjoy each other’s humor.
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COUNSELING Sincerely,
Cliff Isaacson, BA, BD You are free to forward this newsletter to interested people.
Web site: www.birthorderplus.com The following books by Cliff are available by email or 1-800-214-0795:
The Birth Order Challenge Hardback $19.95
Credit Card payments are accepted.
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