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JANUARY 2005 -------
Welcome to the first edition of the Birth Order Newsletter for 2005! If you are suffering from the blues because of winter this letter is especially for you. I want to talk with you about Seasonal Affect Disorder. If you experience a depression during January and February that disappears the rest of the year, you may be experiencing SAD. Seasonal Affect Disorder (SAD) The common theory for SAD is lack of sunlight during winter months that causes hormonal changes in the body. Young people and women appear more likely to have the disorder. The common treatment for SAD is phototherapy that involves exposure to a bank of fluorescent lights. If that does not work antidepressants may be prescribed. However, what if SAD is psychological in origin? What if SAD is driven by childhood memories? I'm going to suggest that these memories are associated with childhood bedtime messages given by parents. These messages changed with the seasons. In the summertime, parents did not have to enforce bedtimes. Children are allowed to go to bed when they are ready. They are allowed to get up when they are ready. There are no messages associated with bedtime. In the fall, though children must go to school, there is still no need to enforce bedtime. Children are excited about going to school after summer vacation that got to be boring toward the end of summer. So, children naturally want to go to bed in preparation for the excitement of school days. And, the days are exciting all fall. School is new again, friends are there and fall is a nice time of the year. There are holidays to anticipate - Halloween, Thanksgiving and the best of all, Christmas! School has not become a burden yet. Christmas vacation is a wonderful time for children. Days are stimulating with all the decorations, celebrations and toys! Bedtime is not enforced because there is no need. The child can sleep in the next morning. It's a time the child wishes could go on forever. Christmas vacation is not long enough for the child. The letdown comes when it is time to go back to school. There's no more playing with toys all day, going to bed when tired or any more excitement. There are no holidays to anticipate as there were in the fall. It's a long time till spring comes when life becomes more fun. Mother becomes aware of the child's resistance to school, becomes concerned that the child get to bed early enough to be ready for school the next day. For the child's sake the parent has to get the child to bed. The parent's Birth Order determines how the parent speaks to the child. The First Born parent says with authority, "I want you to go to bed now!" The Second Born parent threatens by saying, "If you don't get to bed there will be consequences." The Third Born parent pleads saying, "Please go to be bed now so you can be ready for school in the morning." The Fourth Born parent appeals to the child by saying, "Would you do me a favor by going to bed?" The Only Child parent organizes the child by saying, "You have to go to bed now or otherwise you will be tired in the morning when it's time to go to school." The child hears this as a self-fulfilling prophecy that makes the child wake up tired. The child experiences depression by becoming angry at self for not going to bed early enough the night before. These become the symptoms of Sad in adult life. As a person gets older the memories have less influence so SAD tends to be a younger person's disorder. It may affect girls more than boys because of their attention to emotions. A boy is more likely to reject the notion that he's going to be tired in the morning because that would simply be a challenge to him, not a problem. When spring comes the memories are replaced by the happier memories associated with summer so that SAD is no longer a factor. It would appear that the disorder is linked to lack of light but that may be mere coincidence. I want to say the disorder comes from memories. Memories can be changed. Here's how you can do it. In your imagination go back to the experience of mother saying you "have to sleep or you'll be tired in the morning," hear the tone of voice she used, see the expression on her face and feel the feelings you felt. Then tell yourself, "Forget that memory." Next, create a new scene in which mother tells you to go to sleep so you can feel fresh in the morning for school. Tell yourself to remember that memory. You have replaced a problem memory with a new memory. There is an even simpler way to overcome SAD. Whenever you feel a symptom of SAD tell yourself "Forget that memory." In a few minutes you may notice the symptom subsiding. You have found a way to defeat SAD even as you experience it. To keep from creating SAD a parent can change the bedtime message from "You have to go to bed or you're going to be tired in the morning" to "I want you to go to bed so you can be fresh for school in the morning." New Year's Resolutions
Here are some suggested New Year's Resolutions for each Birth Order: I want you to forward this newsletter to friends who could use this information - that's an order! :>) Have an enlightening New Year!
Cliff Isaacson, BA, BD
Web site: www.birthorderplus.com The following books by Cliff are available by calling 1-800-214-0795:
The Birth Order Challenge Hardback $19.95 Credit Card payments are accepted.
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