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February 2010 -------
Welcome to the Birth Order newsletter February 2010 Birth Order and ADD Almost everyone has ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) to some degree. Hopefully, I can explain ADD and relate it to Birth Order by sharing what I have learned about it during years of pastoral counseling. My clients taught me about three effects of ADD. First, the mind goes blank in situations that require thinking. Second, there is a need to read something several times to get it. The third is not being able to sleep because thinking won't stop. My clients helped me learn that ADD is rooted in memories created at about age two. The two-year-old lacks the ability to distinguish between thinking and doing. When the child gets into trouble for doing something the child concludes that he got into trouble for thinking leaving him with memories that make it feel dangerous to think even into adulthood. The fear of thinking is reinforced when a parent forcefully tells the child "Don't you even think about it!" or when a parent punishes a child for saying something, i.e., expressing a thought. These early memories that have become subconscious interfere with thinking in the adult as well as in the child. When a situation requires thinking the subconscious responds with fear, shutting off thinking so the mind goes blank. Similarly, when studying something that requires thinking the fear distracts thinking. However, at night in bed it feels safe to think making nocturnal thinking compulsive. Overcoming ADD seems hopeless because the subconscious cannot be controlled. However, the subconscious does respond to suggestions. The suggestion I use in counseling is, "I want your subconscious to forget those memories that make you think." This neutralizes the compulsive memory that drives night time thinking but it also relieves the fear of thinking during the day so that thinking improves. To reinforce the effect I make a second suggestion saying, "I want your subconscious to remember those memories that let you think" setting the mind free to think. To help others the therapy can be made into a statement that says, "Forget making your self think, just let your self think." This statement has been used effectively with elementary school age children with ADD. Birth Order determines how persons express ADD. Remember, ADD is the fear of thinking that makes people use strategies of their Birth Order to resist thinking. The Only Child talks to keep others from talking. The First Born pleads ignorance when asked a question. The Second Born avoids the big picture by focusing on details. The Third Born puts others on the defensive with ideas. The Fourth Born refuses to listen to what others say. All of this is ADD in action. Never get so interested in being afraid of ideas that you forget to enjoy thinking.
Rev. Cliff Isaacson, BA, BD
BLOG The following books by Cliff are available by mail. Please add only $3.00 for shipping and handling for any quantity.
The Birth Order Challenge Hardback $19.95
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